Call it an occupational hazard, i tend to see pattern in unrelated things. I believe in fate, i do believe in the power of something big dont know if I could call that energy as God or not. I still miss the FAITH, maybe my definition of faith is highly adulterated by the thought process of people around me while i was growing up. So, let me skip the FAITH part. I also believe that if we do something for someone without the intention of getting back anything thing. It definetly get back, good faith rebounds back super naturally fast.
I had also believed that my life is extra ordinary blessed. Everything that any one want in their lives is present in just the perfect quantity in mine. and maybe thats the reason why people do envy me. ENVY.. / Jealousy are the words that dont effect me directly but i know it comes to me as the good will .. the negative and the positive energy has been clashing in front of my eyes for a very long time. I understand when ever I miss a terrible danger that its the clash of the negative and the positive energy and the positive has won. I dont know how long it will continue but it doesnt seem to stop anytime sooner. Accidents, deaths, sufferings that has brushed my shoulder and have gone to someone else. People call me LUCKY, but i know the pattern!!!
I have friends, i have foes, i have everything in small or big quantities... I have a life which no one wants but desires a part of it. its a package deal, the patch one sees is greaner in the portion they see and neglect the other portions. Look at the beauties in your life and enjoy...why do you see the other side and feel sad. I cherish what i have the best.
I grew up in the environment where things are planned for years,, i got that as a childhood training. But as i moved out of the house and starting to see the world, i realize there is nothing that is in my control. I cant even control a breath of air, a movement of eye lid, a stare, a step.. The only thing i can imagine to control is how i feel, even thats out of control, but our mind says that yes i can control it and in this staggered jumbled up world I could like to hold on to a thought that atleast something i CAN..
So eventually I came to a conclusion, smile more doesnt matter if it hurts emotionally or physically. No one cares about your tears or pain, they cant control their emotions thats it.. if they are emotional they will react to you and if they arent they wont. More over SMILE in itself never hurts. It always distracts not only you but others too. So why not smile and look beautiful.
I stopped planning for my future in words long back after taking my second pension policy. i realized, i dont need a pension policy to secure, i need a happy present, a satisfied present to be happy and satisfied in future. There is nothing bigger than satisfaction. If i wish to have some thing materialized, i just get it today rather than thinking about future. Once you have fullfilled your material desires you move to another level. I am blessed to earn enough to fullfill my desires....
I stopped listening to compliments and remarks, dont care what others think about me. Neither give importance to how i should and shouldnot behave. If I think I want to I do, else I dont. But what really helped me being me today is stopping having any expectations. I dont expect from anyone, i dont expect my hubby to pamper me give me gifts, i pamper myself whenever i want to. i dont expect my daughter to be perfect, her imperfections is better than perfections, let her live her own life. I dont expect myself to be perfect, i am good in being imperfect.. Lower your expectations from your own self and have no expectations from others is what i learnt as the basis of happiness.
That doesnt mean I am careless, i dont keep my kitchen perfectly clean at night, I leave dirty dishes. My TV rack is mostly covered with dust, i ignore it. I dont cook every meal, i order or ask my maid to prepare. That in few eyes mean a careless reckless useless women, but in my eyes, i dont give importance to things that are not so important to me. My dishes are dirty but i never wear a single dress to office without ironing neither my daughter nor my husband. I dont have time to cook dinner but i never let my daughter sit at home in her play time. My house is often messy but my projects arent. I dont put a dia and dhoop i my home temple, but my small terrace garden is full of flowers and is always green. So give importance to things that you feel are important not that are defined by others.
I realized people around doesnt like me, they have lots of complaints about me , but the same person envies me for living my life in my terms not others. This is the biggest irony, "People taunt you , dislike you for things you have and they dont have but is their deepest desires"
No comments:
Post a Comment